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I am in love with my children. They are many things I was not as a child and I live vicariously through them… often… everyday in fact.
My eldest daughter was the Irish Dancer, I wanted to be. My younger daughter is the soccer player I could never be or the volleyball player I aspired to be. My son is the brainiac I couldn’t study for a lifetime to become and he’s only twelve. He knew more about science when he was 10 then I did in all of high school… no university if I had actually majored in science. But this is not about them or me it is about her.
Today I sent my our daughter off on a life changing trip that will take her to the Amazon jungle, a native Ecuadorian village and my ancestral homeland – Colombia. For the next six weeks she is in South America without me, without her dad, without her siblings.
As we finished packing for her Me-to-We trip and completed the final preparations, I realized that I will soon be making fewer and fewer choice for my eldest child. She finished grade eleven this past June. After taking an entrepreneurship class (at my ‘suggestion’) she is now considering going to business school instead of med school – physics seemed to have taken the wind out of that sail… She is young, she still has some time to figure out her life’s passion.
I am certain, she will find out all sorts of things that she needs to find out about herself. Her physical strength, endurance and agility. Her mental challenges of being ‘an introvert in an extroverts’ world’ – (she told me that this winter when she was having a particularly challenging day). The need for quiet and privacy will be less accessible when you are with a group of people working on the same cause in aid of others. It will also challenge her when she is immersed in a culture that is centered around family, socializing and looking for the next great party (Don’t get me wrong…it is really, really fun being in Colombia with Colombians – you have no idea.)
She will also realize, I hope, I pray, how much she misses her brother. How much he brings to her life…even if he does talk too much about Pikmen & Mario.
I know she will miss her sister, they are so very different yet clearly symbiotically sisters. They make each other laugh… we saw a lot of that in our recent trip to Ottawa.
I think she will realize that she can master the Spanish language and know that all those years of French will help her with those hurdles. She will have to step out and speak Spanish because I am pretty sure most native Ecuadorians don’t speak English… at least not those found in mountainous, remote areas.
She will have to learn to be a reluctant-extroverted in an introverts’ body.
I have released my daughter (at least for six weeks) but I must now accept that I have set wheels into motion that will compel me to release her so much more as she makes her way through life.
You may think that seventeen is a very tender age to go off on your own to a different land with a different language and stunningly different culture but I do not. I was 17 when my parents sent me off to Paris, France for a year to live with my brother. To travel, to go to school to become as independent as I grew to become as a young adult. It just seems that seventeen for my daughter is just too young… but I know she is ready. She is ready. She is ready.
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A friend of mine says” “you build the house, they decorate”. I like it.
She is going to have such a great time Ecuador and Colombia, Margarita! I know it must be very difficult to watch her do this on her own – my kids are still a few years away from this stage but speaking from my own personal experience with my parents, she will be so thankful for this opportunity – no doubt about it!
It’s a little bittersweet to watch our kids go off into the world to do their awesome things. Pride mixed with a little heartbreak – I guess that’s a mother’s life!
Oh margarita! This is such a great experience for her. What a gift! I am most impressed with her strength in high school. She will have the best time.
It will be an amazing summer for her Margarita! And you’re right, she will learn so much about herself. But as a parent I know how hard this must be for you. My kids are still younger but I find it hard to let them go off with friends to the park. Can’t imagine how hard it will be to let them go further. I love the analogy that you’ve given her wings! Even the fact that she wants to do this trip shows how much confidence you’ve given her. Great job 🙂
Ahhhh, that has got to be so hard girlfriend. My daughter is 16 and I just can’t even imagine. Love your attitude about it and that you are letting her spread her wings even though it’s so hard to do.
xo