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The Empty Nest
Finally, the day you have been waiting for – your child is moving out to live on their own. Whether they’ve graduated from college or found their dream job you’ll have an empty room with endless possibilities. You’ve now entered The Empty Nest Zone. It’s where you get to take back some of that much-needed space for your projects, your interests, your life. You’re embracing downsizing and you are pleased as punch about the whole thing!
First things first. Before your adult child moves out ask them to go through their belongings and decide what to keep, donate or throw out. Although some parents have problems with sentimental items, you don’t want to be stuck with old trophies, yearbooks and lots of odds and ends you have no use for. Purchase a tote or box to keep their ‘special’ sentimental items.
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After graduation, students have a tendency to keep notes, textbooks and college memorabilia. Have them review what they really want to keep (or what they really might need for that first job) and toss all the rest.
This will also apply to clothing. That cool look they’ve been sporting since they were 17 may not be the attire they now need for their new job. You may want to keep a few things around for when they come to visit but for the most part consider your new empty nest.
Downsizing can be overwhelming so get your children to help ease the stress of becoming an empty nester! Insist they complete this decluttering task before they move out because this is the only time they will be motivated to do it. If their new living space isn’t large enough to allow them to take everything they want, have them pack that stuff up, label everything, and store the boxes in a small area in your basement, then – revisit in 6 months! You don’t want to be stuck with these boxes indefinitely.
Think about your life going forward:
Assess what you want for your newfound space and what you want for the rest of your home. Consider: what do you want to do more of and are your surroundings supporting that? Are you happy with an empty room? Do you want to convert it into a guest room? An art studio? Your home office?
Do you work from home? Could you utilize the empty room as an office? With so many of us working from home, isn’t it nice to consider having your very own home office? You can set up a desk, a shelving unit or even a large monitor to watch a bit of Netflix. Love reading? How about having a room for your books and a nice armchair for reading?
Review other items in your home
As you look around at other areas of the home and your new acquired lifestyle, assess how well the items in it match that lifestyle. When downsizing to the empty nest stage, you may also want to consider decluttering and organizing elsewhere. Ask yourself: are you still entertaining on a regular basis? If not, can you donate some of your glasses, dishes, plates etc.? Maybe you are planning to eat healthier now and have no need for the deep fryer?
Too many vases? Donate. Silver cutlery and china that nobody ever uses? Sell it – your kids won’t want it. Consider a consignment store, antique dealer or perhaps a china and crystal re-seller like Replacements.
Insider’s Tip: Review any unwanted or unused furnishings that may also fit the bill and consider selling those on-line. You can also consider selling clothing (here’s another great guest blog posts about how to do that).
Create a sanctuary in your empty nest
Would you like to spend more time on your hobbies? Now you have a place to indulge them. You could set up a craft area (avoiding accummulating more stuff, of course). Consider having a reading nook if you love to read.
Maybe you want to bring out the sewing machine you’ve had in storage and you intend on using. Don’t just bring it out and then not use it!
If you are hoping to improve your health and wellness, how about a dedicated exercise room? No more excuses not to work out. Equipping this workout space could be as simple as an exercise machine, bike or simply free weights or a yoga mat. Make this new empty nest space special for you.
It’s not a dumping ground
Lots to think about. There are many possibilities. However, refrain from using this space as a dumping ground. It is very tempting to use an “empty room” as “temporary” storage and, before you know it, “temporary” becomes “permanent”. Your grandma’s old china that you have never used and never will, the furniture you inherited from your auntie or the many boxes of Christmas stuff you have accumulated CANNOT go there. Instead, start making decisions while looking forward, not back! This is the perfect time to do it.
Enjoy your empty nest
Make room for the important things in your life. How do you want to live? What items do you love? What do you use on a regular basis? What do you wish you had space for? Take stock. Be present in your life and really be conscious of which items you choose to surround yourself with. Things change. Times change. We change. Use this transition in your favour and have fun! If you are interested in virtual organizing session with Uli click here!
Notes from DownshiftingPRO
In 2021, I have begun to pivot content features on the blog, I have chosen to highlight organizing content. After taking a poll, many wanted more content with a focus on downsizing, organizing and conquering the clutter. In doing so, I have turned to professional organizers in Canada and the US to create guest posts for my readers. I admire their work and hope you will stop by their website for a fuller perspective on what they do best – keep people organized. I hope you enjoy the series.
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I love the idea of having the children clear out and pack up their belongings before they move out. I read somewhere that if the child does not live in the home then their belongings should not live there either.
Oh, that is a sweet thought. As parents, we tend to want to keep their stuff around ‘just in case’ they move back. Rushing the process can also be traumatizing so it’s best to get them involved, don’t you think?
My mom has had an empty next for 35 years, but because she has no need for the space, my old bedroom is still a shrine to me (not counting the addition of a treadmill about two decades ago). 😉 My clothes have long since been removed, but the room still has all the markings of a high schooler in the mid 1980s. Each time I return home, I help downsize more of my own things, my (65-year-old) sister’s stuff, and my (deceased) father’s stuff. The smaller the empty nest, the easier it is to face downsizing OUT OF NECESSITY; when you have more rooms than you can use (that’s even the case for my singleton self in my one-bedroom apartment, with a bonus room I barely use!), not “needing” to downsize doesn’t mean your empty next can’t be made more delightful with a little downsizing. I’m lightening up my own space; when the pandemic is over, I’ll be heading north to help my mom continue the process at her home.
I think a lot of people have trouble with envisioning what their future life will be. Because we are uncertain, we tend to hold onto everything “just in case.” I think for those who are downsizing to a new community, it can help to talk with people who live there. To find out what clothes, furniture, and supplies have been most useful to them, and what (if anything) they brought with them and then didn’t need. Sort of an expert opinion from the future!
I have to think ‘this too shall pass’. Although we are still full-on dealing with the pandemic, I hope that we continue making progress if not for the future of those young adults we are sending out to the world.
When my son moved out I cleaned the room but left it as is was for a couple of years. I finally asked him to clean out his stuff and I turned it into a guest room. It’s not used often and it’s usually the cleanest room in the house, but I love having it available so I can invite visitors anytime I want.
What have you done with it now? I’m too curious? Did you turn it into a home office, workout room, or guest room?